Naruto - 636+637

WHY WON'T HE DIE?!??!

First thing I'm going to do here is say sorry. Yes, I've been pretty inactive recently for multiple reasons. Unfortunately, this is only the start of my inactivity since I'll be going to Iran for 3 weeks. But hell, no-one asked me for my life story, so I'll go ahead and move on. Hopefully CrapHaxx or another writer will be taking over my reviews for those 3 weeks, but we'll just wait and see. Let's get into these...chapters.

When I read chapter 636, I honestly felt like giving up on Naruto. Why? It was the worst chapter I had ever read in my entire life. I honestly could not tell whether Kishimoto was trolling us or not, because the chapter was horrendous. So, let's talk about Obito Uchiha. First impressions? He's an absolute pansy who couldn't take the pain of getting friend-zoned and decided to vent out his rage on the entire world. It seems like even after all these years, he's still a sulky little child who can't handle pain. And yes, before you scream at me saying "BUT HE SED DATT HE NMO KARE ABOOT R1IN ND JUST WNNA TKE OVER DA WLRD!!?"?%^£$56:D" I am aware of the fact that he said this, but the flashbacks that Obito had throughout the recent chapters suggest that he lied. So why do I hate Obito? Because he is a horrendous villain who has a terrible motive and just...won't...DIE!!! That's the thing I hate most, how on earth is Obito still alive? I'm going to list all the moments where he should have died, but didn't:

- Hit by Minato's rasengan.

- Slashed by Minato's knife.

- Stabbed in the chest by Kakashi.

- ...something that Madara did...

- Half his body crushed by a rock.

- Covered in bugs by Shino.

- That weird purple crap on his arm that he said would eventually destroy his entire body.

- Billions of paper bombs.

Okay, I know that many would say that the reason he isn't dead is because of his Zetsu regenerative abilities. In my opinion, he has stolen more abilities than Madara Uchiha himself. He has absolutely NO skill. He just spams his Kamui, uses Jinchuriki for his Rikudou Jutsu, stole someone's Sharingan in order to survive being killed by billions of paper bombs, stole Nagato's Rinnegan, uses Zetsu's regenerative abilities and stole Wood release.

Here's the chapter in a nutshell. Obito becomes the Jinchuriki of the Juubi.

On a scale of 1-10, I'd give chapter 636 a one. In fact, I won't post any pictures from it because it was just that horrible. Instead, here's a picture of a duck.

*sigh*. Now we'll move of to a better chapter. After writing that pile of crap, Kishimoto actually gave his fans a break and wrote a relatively good chapter. Why was it good? It demonstrated the sheer power of the Juubi, and how freaking epic the Rikudou Sennin must have looked...

So, let's start a new heading for a chapter that was actually good.

Obito, the Juubi's Jinchuriki (We go'na kick some ASS!)

This guy has a bad case of dandruff...

As you can see in the picture above, Obito looks...pretty dang awesome. His lack of clothing and bare feet remind me of post-Dangai training Ichigo, making us know that this guy is going to be really...really...really powerful. After a couple of dumb filler pages of Naruto explaining why he knows Obito is now a Jinchuriki (*applause*) and other people trying to comprehend the situation...we get this.

Like me when someone wakes me up in the morning...

Yup. Something that Hashirama Senju created in his honoured sage mode was destroyed as if it was made of digestive biscuits. It's at this point we realise how powerful the Juubi really is, and the scariest part? It's not even at it's full power yet! The only reason it's more powerful before is because the masses of energy it has is being controlled by a smaller body. If it's this strong in it's current state...what will it be like when it's fully charged up?

This is what my stomach goes through during diarrhoea.

Again, yup. Obito managed to rip apart the barrier that takes 4 Kage level ninja to create...with his bare hands. Jesus Christ this guy is a monster. All this from being friendzoned? When I got friendzoned, all I got was a depressing boner. This guy become, essentially, the most powerful being alive. Maybe I should try getting friendzoned again...I could become billionaire.

The last notable feature of this chapter is that Obito has lost all knowledge of himself. He no longer knows what his name is, and simply replies with "O...bi...to?", to which I removed the "to" and replaced with "Wan Kenobi". Anyway, it's pretty obvious that someone will say something about "Rin" and there'll be a little struggle between Obito and the Juubi, and hopefully Obito will decide to discard his ridiculous plan and destroy Madara once and for all. But hey, I'm still waiting for the resurrection of the Rikudou Sennin.

But, until next time, peace out.